PEACE MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, I BRING YOU GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF JESUS!

A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

MY GOD HAS ME ON A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY... AT TIMES I WANT TO QUESTION WHY...NOT FEELING WORTHY ENOUGH TO BE CALLED A CHILD OF GOD. THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE THAT I RECEIVE FROM MY HIGHER POWER FOR WHOM I CHOSE TO CALL GOD GETS SO OVERWHELMING AT TIMES. I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND WHY GOD CHOSES TO LOVE ME SO MUCH. THE LOVE IS TRULY UNCONDITIONAL...BECAUSE WHEN I AM DISOBEDIENT TO GOD...GOD NEVER, EVER THROWS ME AWAY LIKE I DO NOT MATTER ...INSTEAD GOD EMBRACES ME CLOSER TO HIS HEART AND JUST HOLDS ME AND ROCKS ME AWAY WITH HIS LOVE. AT TIMES I CAN NOT STAND IT...HOWEVER I WANT IT...I NEED IT...I DESIRE IT ALL...THIS JOURNEY THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW IS TEACHING ME HOW TO LOVE ME AND HOW TO LOVE OTHERS....UNCONDITIONALLY! NO STRINGS ATTACHED, NO MOTIVES TO IT...I DO NOT WANT ANYTHING FROM ANYONE BUT LOVE... IN LIFE THAT IS ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS ANY WAY. WE ALL NEED IT...THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE WITH IT...HOW CAN WE GET THERE...FALL DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY...ASK GOD TO GIVE YOU WHAT IT IS YOU NEED IN ORDER TO FIRST LOVE YOURSELF AND THEN SPREAD THAT LOVE OUT TO OTHERS...IT WILL WORK...JUST TRUST AND BELIEVE IT AND YOU THEN SHALL RECEIVE IT....EVEN WHEN YOU THINK YOU DONT MATTER.....YOU DO! THAT IS WHAT I AM COMING TO LEARN AND TO KNOW...THIS JOURNEY IS SO AWESOME AND I HAVE A SPECIAL SOMEONE IN MY LIFE I WANT TO THANK...MY PASTOR...KEVIN E. TAYLOR...WHO IS ALSO MY BIG BROTHER IN CHRIST...HE HAS BEEN TEACHING ME ABOUT FAITH AND KNOWING TO WALK IN IT WITH MY HEAD HELD HIGH...IN SPITE OF HOW I FEEL!

I LOVE U BIG BROTHER KEV, WITH ALL OF MY HEART!


TO THY OWN SELF BE TRUE

TO THY OWN SELF BE TRUE...NO ONE REALLY CARES, IF ANYONE SHOULD, IT SHOULD BE YOU. TO THY OWN SELF BE TRUE, LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST EACH AND EVERY DAY. BE TRUE TO YOURSELF IN EACH AND EVERY WAY. NO TIME FOR GAMES ANYMORE, NO TIME FOR THE LIES, TO THY OWN SELF BE TRUE, BECAUSE IN THE END, U WILL BE THE ONE CRYING.

TO THY OWN SELF BE TRUE, IN ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU DO. WHAT AND WHO ARE YOU DOING IT FOR? HIM? SHE OR FOR YOU! TO THY OWN SELF BE TRUE, DONT HATE WHEN ITS NOT GOING THE WAY U THOUGHT IT SHOULD GO! WHAT WERE YOUR MOTIVES IN THE FIRST PLACE. TRYING TO PLAY GAMES WITH OTHER PEOPLES EMOTIONS? COME ON NOW GROW UP ALREADY, BE TRUE TO YOURSELF ... KNOW YOURSELF, LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF. STOP WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK, SAY OR FEEL...TO THY OWN SELF BE TRUE

ITS PAINFUL GETTING TO KNOW WHO U ARE ISNT IT? TRUST ME I KNOW. ALL MY LIFE! I RAN FROM MYSELF, DIDNT WANT TO KNOW WHO IT IS THAT I WAS. EVEN THOUGH I DEEP DOWN INSIDE ALREADY KNEW WHO IT WAS THAT I HAD BECOME. I DID NOT LIKE IT, I WANTED TO FIGHT IT, GET AWAY FROM IT AND JUST RUN. RUN ON TO SEE THE END WAS GOING TO BE. AT THE END WAS ME! YEA THATS RIGHT, I TOOK ME EVERYWHERE I WENT, EVERYWHERE I TURNED, THERE I WAS...IN FRONT OF ME, IN BACK OF ME, ON THE SIDE OF ME. WHO WAS I FOOLING, NO ONE NOT EVEN ME. TO THY OWNSELF BE TRUE, NO ONES KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN GOD AND U! SO STOP FRONTING LIKE U GOT IT LIKE THAT, PLEASE BEING A PHONY IS JUST SO WHACK.

EVERYONE CAN SEE THE LIES YOU TELL, EVERYONE KNOWS WHATS REAL AND WHATS NOT, KEEP IT REAL WITH U...TO THY OWN SELF BE TRUE!

STARLIGHT


Dear God, can U hear me NOW?
You think I dont know, You think I dont see...You think I am blind to what you Lord God have for me. Please... I know and understand that you GOD got me, always had me...wont let go of me...thats why I give, thats why I keep moving forward...closer to the mark. I lift my head high and give all praises to the LORD GOD in the sky!

Dear God help me...in love with her...need her...want her to be where I am...in mind, body, and in spirit. Want her right by my side...to walk with me, to talk with me, to love me like no other can. Whats going on, is that not your plan for me. I asked in the past that if it was meant to be...send it back to me and you did. So now what? What do I need to do...put my life on hold until she comes through to you...it seems like it will never happen, they are so deep down in sin...and cant love themselves, let alone love me again...all they do is moan and complain about how things are not right, how I am not loving them, giving them the attention that they need, when I know I've done all I can to succeed in this area of my life...I want her to be my wife. Only if you Lord could take away the strife, the pain , the misery, the illness that lies in between her ears...help her Lord to overcome the fears...I love her so deeply that it hurt too much to watch her waste away as I fly beyond the sky day by day...just floating away from the love I thought I had. Its making me so mad, that she can not comprehend...and then again...maybe its not for me to understand, maybe its not for me to know. But it hurts so much, because I love you Lord with all my being.

You have helped me to love myself so that I am able to love others in this process, and even that gets turned around to something else. Then my mind wanders off course...and causes me more pain, because of the unpure thoughts of someone, something, the love of my heart now has less to gain the attention of the unmentions in my mind. I dont even want to hide behind the smile, the clothes, the talent anymore. I am ready to be alone and walk right out the door to nothing at all... just want to be left alone so that my feelings and emotions dont get caught up in anything or anyone anymore! Im tired of this fight, so dear GOD again I give you my life...to handle all things that are going on right now with me, prayerfully one day...the love of my life will turn her life around and see what you are really about and she will let go of all the doubts...before its too late!

Dear God do you hear me now...?


HERE I GO AGAIN

OVER AND OVER AGAIN...THE ATTACKS COME! THEY COME SO OFTEN THAT I HAVE NO TIME TO RUN...STAY AWAY FROM ME...LEAVE ME ALONE...STOP CHASING ME...PLEASE JUST GO HOME!

I DONT WANT TO SIN IN MY HEAD, AND CAUSE HAVOK IN MY BED...NOT BE ABLE TO REST BECAUSE OF BEING UNJUST TO SELF...

LEAVE ME ALONE FOR GOOD...ITS DONE, IT NEVER GOT STARTED...THOUGHT U REALLY UNDERSTOOD! BUT U DONT, U WONT, U KEEP ON AND ON ... TILL WHAT? SOMEONE FALLS SHORT!

IT CAN NOT, IT WILL NOT BE ME...RUNNING AND HITTING UP AGAINST A TREE, MY HEAD OVER AND OVER AGAIN...DEAR LORD I SURRENDER MY WILL AND MY LIFE...PLEASE MAKE THE DEVIL STOP ADDING STRIFE TO MY LIFE!

I PROMISED TO FOLLOW YOU, IN ALL OF MY DAYS LEFT HERE ON EARTH...AM THE DEVIL JUST KEEPS COMING FOR ME...DAMN I REALLY CAN SEE WHAT IT IS THAT I AM A WORTH!

IM TIRED...NO I DONT WANT YOU, DONT NEED YOU, AND U CANT HAVE ME EITHER...SURRENDER IT ALL AND LEAVE ME ALONE...DONT CALL ME NEITHER...

GOD IS MY ALL IN ALL...GOD IS ALL THAT I LIVE FOR...EVERYTHING ELSE AROUND ME IS JUST GIFTS OF BLESSING BESTODE UPON ME...I CANT TAKE ANYTHING MATERIAL WITH ME, THEREFORE IT IS NOT IMPORTANT TO ME...HOWEVER I HAVE MY SOUL TO PROTECT...AND U DEVIL JUST CAN NOT HAVE IT...U SHOULD HAVE KILLED ME WHEN U HAD THE CHANCE...SUCKA!


DONT U KNOW... YOU CANT TOUCH THIS

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL...THANK YOU LORD AGAIN FOR SAVING A WRECH LIKE ME...ONCE WAS BLIND AND NOW I CAN SEE...

I SEE U FOR WHO AND WHAT U ARE...THE ENEMY TRYING TO DESTROY ME. TRYING TO TAKE ME OFF TRACK. IM GLAD JESUS GOT MY BACK. IM FAITHFUL TO THE LORD ABOVE, NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER IM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR.

DONT U KNOW BY NOW THAT I AM HIGHLY FAVORED IN THE LORD, THATS WHY U CANT TOUCH THIS... HAHAHA...SEE YES I CAN LAUGH, SMILE, LOVE AND STILL BE YA FRIEND... I HAVE GOD ON MY MIND...SIMPLY BECAUSE ITS THE LORD THAT I PUT MY TRUST IN TO MAKE IT ALL ALRIGHT FOR ME. IM NOT BLIND NO MORE, I CAN SEE...HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FOR A WHILE NOW. I AM WALKING THIS WALK... IN ALL THAT I DO...MY ACTIONS WILL SPEAK FOR ME AND NOT MY WORDS...U TRY TO CURSE ME SATAN AND U DID NOT SUCEED! THEREFORE GET HENCE BEHIND ME SATAN...U JUST CANT BEAT ME...CUZ JESUS GOT ME AND HE WONT LET ME GO! IM HOLDING ON TO GODS UNCHANGING HAND AND RECEIVING ALL OF GODS LOVE FOR ME! IM WORTHY OF ALL THAT THE LORD HAS FOR ME...

I WILL SUCEED AND NOT BE AFRAID...I WILL DO THE WILL OF THE LORD AND NOT BE AFRAID. I WILL BLESS THE LORD AT ALL TIMES, HIS PRAISES SHALL SUREL BE IN MY MOUTH...I WILL PRAISE GOD IN THE MORINING, NOON AND NIGHT...FOREVER IN MY HEART!

THANK YOU JESUS FOR ALWAYS BEING WITH ME AND NEVER LEAVING ME, EVEN WHEN I TRY TO LEAVE YOU! THANK YOU LORD FOR LOVING ME AND TEACHING ME TO LOVE MYSELF AND THEN OTHERS...LORD YOU ARE SO AWESOME AND I JUST WANT TO PRAISE YOU!

NEW BEGINNINGS IN MY LIFE
Current mood: grateful


TO GOD BE THE GLORY FOR ALL THINGS,

IVE MADE IT THROUGH THE ROUGH TIMES AND TODAY I AM SO BLESSED FOR THE EXPERIENCE. THE DEVIL IS MAD AND I AM SO GLAD THAT IT IS FOR GOD THAT I STAND...NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER, BECAUSE I AM MORE THAN A CONQUERING! I MAY HAVE FALLING BUT GOD PICKED ME UP. I MAY HAVE MADE A FEW MISTAKES, BUT GOD HAS WASHED AWAY ALL OF MY SINS AND GIVEN ME A NEW BEGINNING IN LIFE, TIME AND TIME AGAIN...

YALL MAY NOT UNDERSTAND, BUT I HAVE TO GIVE GOD PRAISE FOR ALL THINGS IN MY LIFE. U HAVEN'T WALKED IN MY SHOES, THEREFORE YOU HAVE NO CLUE. BUT I KNOW AND THATS WHY I HAVE TO PRAISE GOD RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW.

THANK YOU LORD FOR ALWAYS BLESSING ME, EVEN WHEN I FEEL LIKE I DONT DESERVE IT. THANK YOU LORD FOR LOVING ME INSPITE OF ME, THANK YOU LORD FOR BEING SO WONDERFUL AND AWESOME IN MY LIFE AND IN THE LIFE OF MY FAMILY. THANK YOU SO MUCH JESUS, I WILL FOREVER SERVE YOU!

STARLET